Let’s Talk Adoption!
A little background…My husband and I used to run a nonprofit for Foster and Adopted Families where we provided parent consultations, trainings, including Trust-Based-Relational-Intervention trainings, and holistic testing and care. We both have done several trainings in whole-child, trauma-informed paradigms….even had this adorable logo and everything ;). While we don’t do this anymore, I have had experience helping hundreds of families, mostly moms!, understand their kids better and feel better equipped as an adoptive parent.I know you might be thinking, “Well this may not be for me because we adopted our little one when they were a baby!” or even “My biological kiddo is showing a lot of signs of struggling!” This post is for you too, I promise!
There is a lot of science and reasons for kids not behaving in “expected” ways. This isn’t scary. This doesn’t mean something is “wrong”. And let me say from first-hand experience as a parent of three kiddos by way of adoption- The quicker we can get away from the ideals and paradigms we have in our heads, the faster we can bring hope and healing to ourselves and our kiddos!
So to help facilitate this, I’m posting an Adoption Resources Starter Kit of sorts…what I would have wanted to know before I adopted or fostered my kids!
- 1. In this video (below), I go through basic things that would have been helpful to have a good grasp of, tools we wish we had from the beginning, etc. Every child who comes to you by way of another family has experienced at least a couple of these “Risk Factors for Development” that I get into in the video below. Don’t worry- “risk factor” isn’t scary. Our kids come to us with all sorts of unique challenges and issues and that makes them all the more valuable and lovable if we, as parents, can learn to change our minds about what we thought parenting would be like! It doesn’t have to mean anything other than their brains work a little differently and we can learn how to work with them instead of trying to change what we cannot change! Feel free to message me after you watch- there’s a follow up video on digestion/ food topics related to our kiddos too!
- 2. This book, The Connected Child, should be some kind of required reading for anyone thinking of adopting or fostering! It’s even helped many biological-only parents better understand how to parent in a way that kids can thrive in! I always, always recommend this book to new adoptive parents! After you read this book, other books I recommend are The Out of Sync Child and The Whole Brain Child. These two books are great resources as you begin to parent and move forward with understanding your kids even further.
- 3. And finally, if you ever need a professional, I would only reccomend those who have some knowledge or have been trained in TBRI through the Texas Christian University Institute of Child Development. This information is the most holistic kind of approach out there and is so helpful. The full list of TBRI-trained professionals can be found here. The TCU website is also a great resource and you can purchase many videos and trainings as a non-professional there as well!